Good Girl Gone Bad

Good student, good worker, good friend, good daughter, good sibling, good whatever. I’ve checked every box and met every standard that it looks good on paper but it's left me feeling unfulfilled. Now, if I even consider doing something against what makes me "good" then I guess you can say Good Girl Gone Bad. But what if it’s not “bad”? What if it’s just real? What if I’m refusing up to live up to the expectations of others going forward? Being good gets you praise from others but does that leave room for who you truly are? If I can be honest, I’ve spent my entire life living out what others wanted for me. My upbringing didn’t celebrate being different per se or doing what makes you happy. Everyone had an opinion on what you should do or what route you should take. Not once did anyone sit me down to figure out what truly made me happy and how I could pursue that. So now at my big age, I don’t know what fulfills me. It’s been a hassle to unlearn all that I’ve learned. It’s messy. Just like an orange, everyday I’m peeling back layers so I can finally be free. I acknowledge that my answer may not come overnight but I’m making room just in case. If you don’t have to be good for anyone else, what would you want for yourself?