The Girl I Use to Hate

First off, I want to start with an apology.
I APOLOGIZE.
I hated you so much, and I did it subconsciously.
You were doing the best you could, honestly.
I should have tried to be your friend
But I broke your spirit when I should’ve helped it mend.
I take full accountability for my actions and the pain they’ve caused you.
No excuse could ever justify what I put you through.
The memories may blur, the details may fade,
But the weight of it all never went away.
I hope you accept my apology. From my heart to both you and God’s ears.
You may never forgive me, and that would make sense after all these years.
But since I’m here, that takes away me trying to be on defense.
I’m breaking the cycle, no more sitting on the fence.
Life was already hard for you, and I added to the flame.
So, if you’ll allow me, I’d like to reintroduce my name:
Destinee Monique.

Hi! I’m Destinee Monique, and I once hated the person who looked back at me in the mirror.
My voice was taken away from me at a young age,
So I never felt I could speak up without feeling afraid.
Even now, at my age, it's still hard to find the words,
But I promised I’d speak, even if it hurts.
Me telling my story isn’t to throw anyone under the bus;
It’s to finally get me out from under it and start gaining trust.
I hated myself because of what people (self included) did and said to me.
But now I know that was all just a trick of the enemy.
I find joy and peace in loving the masterpiece God made.
He took His time, and not one part of me was a mistake.
He perfected every detail, even the ones I used to shame.
So what is there not to love about my name?

This is a reminder to the girl I used to hate:
Chin up, queen… you shine in ways no one can replicate.