The Hardest Truth: Sometimes, It’s Me

I’m owning the truth.
Sometimes I’m the problem.
Yes, me.
Sometimes I want what I want, when I want it, and how I want it.
Sometimes I miscommunicate, I shut down, or yes, maybe I do overreact.

I’m not perfect, I’m human.
I’m sure I could find a million reasons to justify why I do those things I’ve listed, but I’m not here to make excuses.
I’m here to become the best version of me that I could’ve ever imagined.

Every day I strive to navigate my emotions, expectations, and even the parts of me that I don’t quite understand.
Some days are easier than others. Then there are those days that leave me completely mind boggled.

I constantly ask myself:
“Why did them doing or saying that move you like that?” Or, “Are they the problem or is it you?”

That kind of self-work is tough.
Because it means I have to be honest with others and not just myself. And with that comes vulnerability.

I’m having to put my pride aside.
Admit when I’m wrong. Apologize when I hurt someone.
Resist the urge to be in control.
Doing what I can do to intentionally ensure I'm not being a burden to anyone, not even my worst enemy.
I don't want anyone to have a bad day because of me.

Healing doesn’t come from pretending to have it together.
It comes from being willing to put in the work and actually doing it...even when it’s messy, slow, and uncomfortable.

I’m more intentional now with the words that I speak than I have ever been in my life.
I don’t wait until the end of the day to correct myself.
I make adjustments right in that moment, even if I have to risk looking like the weaker person.

May the woman I am today continue to blossom,
and set everything she once thought about herself to the wayside so she can finally be whole.